We we raising a generation of Narcissists or is this the new normal?

children of today are Narcissistic
Falling in love with one's image

Nobody can be kinder than a Narcissist while you react to his life in his own terms. Elizabeth Bowen

They look at themselves in the mirror, post endless selfies, feel a sense of self-importance yet they haven’t contributed or achieved anything in society yet. These are our teenagers!

It is a technological phenomenon how we raise our kids;  the instant aps, always connected to friends at every moment, endless videos and games but I am worried we are creating a narcissistic generation that might prove harmful.

How are we ever going to get these children to strive?

I have noticed a big difference between the young adults that started technology in their teens and the ones who are reaching adolescence now, those who were born into it. I cannot help but be shocked at how demanding and disrespectful this generation is to their own parents, each other and each other so boldly online. Their parents seem to blindly give everything they want to their children without question and without them working for it.

What ever happened to chores around the house, saving your allowance for something you really want or better still, getting a paper route and physically working for it!

This entitlement is what scares me. Paired with praise for accomplishing mediocre grades because heaven forbid we might hurt their feelings, and parents blaming teachers and not the children’s indifference to their school work for those average grades that won’t get them into college.

While families seem preoccupied by keeping up their self importance by buying those nice shoes, stylish clothes, and stocked with the latest devices. In turn we hear a shift in what matters to our own children the most. They talk about what they bought and where they went in terms of dollars and cents and not experiences together as a family. It seems that everyone is focused on money.

This shift is frightening.

Facebook gives us the illusion of being special, and the perfect selfie is our viable source for how important we are. Then we count our friends, we compare who has more, and it is an open book of how much we are worth.

I feel very sorry for my children. What is to become of them?

Technology addiction is a real thing. Gaming addiction is also a very real thing. Surfing the net, collecting information, texting; are all serious addictions if it is interfering with your everyday interactions with actual people. And it further isolates our children by creating virtual world for them to connect to instead.

Parents are working harder and longer than ever before to get the things they seem to think their children need. I watch teens flaunt their new iPhones, break them, and the next day they are replaced. Astonishing when my own used iPhone is only used for telephone calls or surfing for information in a pinch.

I watch the spare classes fill with students playing on their mobile phones. They all huddle around like zombies plugged into their virtual worlds, texting each other across the room, but not really connecting.

What happens when they unplug?

For most, there is a desire to go back on their device as soon as possible to feel like they are being rewarded, are still connected and are somewhat relevant. They feel like they are missing out on something if they are not always checking their telephones.

They have their prizes, their levels to get to and virtual money to win, when in real life, it is just ordinary life; no positive reinforcement everytime you talk to your friends, or hang out. So of course we are training our children through games, Facebook to accept nothing less than constant validation for mediocrity, and constant validation through their peers.

It has never been more sad to watch children compare themselves to the images online. They see the commercials, the YouTube channels images and those expectations are so very high. I watch teens spending far too much time in the mirror, like the narcissist, falling in love with their own imagine. It is about capturing your best self, your best photo and placing it online for all to see.

YouTube videos

There is a family online who posts each day about their everyday life. They have 10 million subscribers, mostly children, watching exactly what is going on in their own families, except online! Say what?

It blows my mind that someone else’s family is more interesting on reality feeds, as opposed to being connected to the family they were born into.

They talk about these people as if they really know them, and it scares me the value they place on this family’s opinions. The wife is pregnant, the man bought his dad a new car, they are so rich… but they are not really in your lives kids, it is not your reality.

They are characters online, a version of their real selves, super glorified through silly behaviour, and our children are eating it up. In time they too may have a desire to become famous for doing nothing. Some say this is harmless, but I am not so sure.

And with technology being so fast, the pace of things happening for our children is super mach speed, and when they unplug they expect normal life to operate at the same pace. And that’s when the problems start.

In class the students are so bored, like never before. They are not used to waiting for anything anymore.

Nothing is more annoying than a car ride to somewhere, which the kids think is too slow, too long and the end result is not interesting enough. They want to be entertained! 

As parents the solution is to say NO! I mean it! A real NO! We shouldn’t care if they are upset, life is upsetting. We shouldn’t give them everything they want because they have a temper tantrum, we need to hold strong and not waver on our noes. Our job is not to give them everything, or for them to be our friends! Our job is to raise them to be decent people! I don’t think that is what we are doing, we are raising narcissistic little brats.

And I know that when I need a moment of peace I thank my lucky stars for those devices that I too plug in and work away on this very blog! But there must be a balance. Too many children are losing their childhood to these devices.

We must go out to play and experience the world hands-on!

UNPLUG and go take take on the day!

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